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TomFulp

Age/Gender: 30, Male
Location: Glenside, PA
Job: NG Webmaster

Hi there! In case you didn't know, I created newgrounds. No, it wasn't made by some giant company - just some dumb kid. Yoink!

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Entry #31

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TomFulp

More emo BS

Posted by TomFulp Feb. 6, 2008 @ 3:15 AM EST

The more time I spend working on CC, the less I can sleep. It started with changing my regular work day from 8 to 8 into 8 to 12... But after working all day Sunday, I came home and caught up on PMs, then felt guilty about going to bed with so much work left to do, so I went back to the office and worked straight through until Monday night. Today was 7am to 1:30am. It's always the same, I finally come home, lay in bed... Try to clear my head... Feel like I'm about to fall asleep, but then I don't. And then I can't. So I get back up and either go back to the office or sit here on my laptop trying to put some thoughts down for the next day.

And working on CC itself is kinda like trying to fall asleep. You have that moment where you think you're almost there, but then your mind starts racing with ideas and thoughts and you just can't stop it, and suddenly you're nowhere near being there. But it has to be like that because that's what will make it great. They call it scope creep, but we really do have the scope pretty well under control right now, we just gotta follow through with everything so we don't regret leaving anything out.

Making the console version of Alien Hominid felt like one of those "only do this once" projects. Not that the opportunity only comes once, but that for my own mental health, I should only do it once. But here I am. After 15 months of development on AH, we told ourselves our next game would be something more simple, but it just doesn't happen like that... The next game always has to be bigger and better than the last, or else your moving backwards. And CC will certainly be big, and much better.

As the development of Castle Crashers has stretched out over a few years, I've felt a growing sense of self-loathing. After Comic-Con I finally just accepted that I will derive little joy from life until this game is finished. And that's just the reality of how it's gonna be and that's why even right now I should be programming instead of writing this. On that note...

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The People Have Spoken

96 Comments

Feb. 6, 2008 | 3:42 AM WritersBlock says:

It's a shame I don't have an X-Box 360 to play CC when it comes out.
Have you thought of getting a few more people in with you, working on the game, that way you can take a break and disperse the work load better.


Feb. 6, 2008 | 3:58 AM Nuttro says:

oh shiot wats cc?


Feb. 6, 2008 | 3:59 AM KupaMan says:

Your pain benefits the masses, Mr. Fulp. Your self-torture is not in vain.


Feb. 6, 2008 | 4:22 AM WolfBlitz2 says:

I say avoid caffiene all together
go get a mountain bike and go on a bash about in the woods (I heard that places in canada are pretty good to ride)
take a WEEK away from the pc
try doing some drawing with pencil and paper while sitting in a national park or somewhere just in some wilderness may it be heavily forested that no light on the ground floor or a fair few trees a bit like Georges river
try making a home brew
go and live in the gold coast
and finally RELAX!


Feb. 6, 2008 | 6:06 AM mrpie74 says:

sounds like someone needs a vacation... then again, i bet during that whole vacation, youll be thinking about work...


Feb. 6, 2008 | 6:24 AM TheNossinator says:

Can't wait for CC, Tom.

To get to sleep, try my trick.
When your mind is racing, just think of black. Just a plain black sheet.

Nice work on AH, thanks for replying to the PM, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Nice work on the site...

edn.


Feb. 6, 2008 | 7:12 AM vladuky says:

take a break for a week or two


Feb. 6, 2008 | 8:14 AM InsaneBrutality says:

Must be some serious shit if you're working on it that hard.


Feb. 6, 2008 | 8:33 AM q13qew says:

kill the emos just joking there are people too well dump people l can say


Feb. 6, 2008 | 9:14 AM Vincoid says:

It'll all be worth it Tom. And just to let you know, I will definitely by this when it comes out ;)

Hope you can sleep soon ;)


Feb. 6, 2008 | 9:15 AM Vincoid says:

I meant buy, woops XD


Feb. 6, 2008 | 9:31 AM TripleDK says:

You should update your profile pics (etc.) with a beard...

And guys... EMO CAN NEVER BE COOL, TOM HIMSELF JUST STATED EMO THINGS AS BS!!!!!!! (BS = BullShit, right?)


Feb. 6, 2008 | 10:01 AM Moonkey says:

I know how you feel, but obviously not to the same degree.

The stupid thing is, after completing a project and telling myself "ahh, time for a nice break", I'm back inspired and coding within a day or two :/

Anyway, good luck with it all. Not being able to sleep sucks.


Feb. 6, 2008 | 10:46 AM ShortStackSutin says:

Tom, you have done so much in your life to be proud of, including what you've done so far on castle crashers. Just because it's not done doesn't mean it's something you can't be proud of.
You're awesome.
Take that knowledge and get some sleep.
Also, Mike doesn't need to sleep because he is more machine than man, so you don't have to worry.


Feb. 6, 2008 | 10:46 AM darkling666 says:

am going with writersblock ... i have no xbx 360 to play cc *shame*
you could try some spiritual stuff to get sleep or clear your head ^^
or try to get a standerd schedule for your work and break periods in the week ...


Feb. 6, 2008 | 11:46 AM TropicalParadise says:

Don't neglect your new bride!


Feb. 6, 2008 | 12:12 PM Hammi says:

Youve gone through helluva lot of obstacles before Tom. And im sure you can do it this time too :) Hang in there. Dont look down, just keep your head and youll be finished. Look behind you and see what youve left for us. Thats right, big smiles on our faces.

Listen, go buy the Scarface soundtrack album. Put it on, and feel the energy rush inside of you. Then keep bangin like you got coke rush. You just gotta keep your hands on the steering wheel. Then slow down and gather your fuel. Then on the road again. Im sorry if i cant help you, but not personally knowing your situation, this is what i can come up with. What i can say is, that possibilities never end with us humans. We thought we would never fly up the sky. We thought that we would never reach the moon. So dont you ever think that you will never finish CC. Its still there, you gotta keep the destination, its like driving from Cali to Kansas. Keep refueling, we're still cheering.


Feb. 6, 2008 | 12:42 PM herblin says:

I get this too tom... I can't sleep but its usualy to do with school, work, or some project I'm working on...

it sucks... But Wade still makes cooler posts then you


Feb. 6, 2008 | 12:47 PM FGIJonC says:

Tom, its a shame you seem to be doing a lot of programming by yourself. Too bad you can't get a larger team and whatnot, though I know you all may not be able to pay more people to help, but in the long run, it may help. Because you seriously seem to be stressing yourself out, and thats not good.

I'm not trying to crack jokes here, but think of Heath Ledger, he got so involved in his role as the Joker, he eventually couldn't sleep, etc, and look what seemed to happen in the long run.

And I know the feeling of wanting to get something done, you dont want to take any breaks from it, especially it being a game and all, but if it were possible, I'd take a break or something, though I'm sure it would probably still bug you, wanting to get it done.

Hopefully, things will get better.


Feb. 6, 2008 | 12:48 PM Zendra says:

You're a hard working man. I am quite sure that will result in an awesome game - guess you've earned a long and good vacation after it's done. :)


Feb. 6, 2008 | 2:25 PM Kaotyc says:

Ok this is what you do!
Sleeping pillz. Or just get badly wasted, however both will make you feel like shit in the morning.

The games are really good, even though ive only played Alien Homind on Ng and on PS2. But I never got round to playing CC for some reason...ill go check it out, if it still here :P

So on a further note, I am gangster...tehehehehhehehehe....*sigh * Ill go play Microsoft Sam, and Make him say* Danny is gangster, i sucked his 1000 inch cockz, gangster*


Feb. 6, 2008 | 3:39 PM UnderARock says:

smoke some herb, that always makes me a little tired :)


Feb. 6, 2008 | 4:29 PM Vndgl says:

I'm getting CC the moment it comes out on Arcade.


Feb. 6, 2008 | 4:49 PM DannyIsOnFire says:

I'll actually be investing in Xbox LIVE specifically for Castle Crashers.
Not that the above actually does anything to help you feel the months of work you put in have been worth every damn second, but rest assured, you'll be making at least one user a very happy man :)



Feb. 6, 2008 | 6:39 PM Ximos says:

Hope the game turns out good tom! Too bad I don't have a 360...


Feb. 6, 2008 | 7:00 PM Ragnarokia says:

Thank you for your favourites, I finally got the name of Curb Your Enthusiasm, this bugged me all week, finally got it.

Also you will get better. Hot with the beard and everything.


Feb. 6, 2008 | 7:01 PM XxpanicwithmeXx says:

wow...that's rough...OH WELL!next time make pico


Feb. 6, 2008 | 7:55 PM chris-the-stick2 says:

dude, live up life. get some days off, take a braek, and go have some trip with april. no offence, im just suggesting, before this thing get into your head and make you bad


Feb. 6, 2008 | 8:16 PM Eli216AkAMcdoAddict says:

Man I wish I could say I know how you feel, but then I'd be shitting you...you better get your priorities straight...you're a grown man Tom, you know more shit than most of the people here..Better have some time to rest and stay away from all the work for a while...


Feb. 6, 2008 | 8:23 PM puddinN64 says:

Just keep thinking how great it will be to finally get it done.


Feb. 6, 2008 | 8:26 PM aldlv says:

CC will be awesome... thanx for spending so much time on it...


Feb. 6, 2008 | 8:34 PM IammeoramI says:

Get a slave to write down those idears or hire one if you are'nt into that slavery stuff.


Feb. 6, 2008 | 9:58 PM Imacow says:

Hopefully I'll have a 360 by the time this thing comes out.


Feb. 6, 2008 | 11:05 PM Cheddar79 says:

I'm sure all the hard work will be worth it. You keep doing what you do best and you will reap the rewards my friend. Keep fighting the good fight.

Beardo.


Feb. 6, 2008 | 11:27 PM Shaun says:

You have a beard, you arent allowed to whinge and bitch.
It creates a paradox that WILL destroy the universe.


Feb. 7, 2008 | 1:36 AM TheCriminalDuder says:

I know the feelin'. Wake up thinking only of the current project, then end up making it better by decided to add this and that and etc. Sucks more when you have a stressful family life and school.
If ya ask me, I'd thinkyou should take a break. Not a long one, just 'bout roughly a day or two to stretched the legs, breath, maybe have some fun. :P
...
Their's drugs and beer too... can never go wrong with those. :3


Feb. 7, 2008 | 3:20 AM Darkside7000 says:

Go cut yourself.


Feb. 7, 2008 | 3:23 AM FadePuff says:

Damn! You're putting a ton of work into this game. I'm going to feel guilty now if I don't buy a copy.


Feb. 7, 2008 | 7:23 AM SaltshakerClock says:

I hope you start to sleep, maybe you can just take a nice long vacation. :D


Feb. 7, 2008 | 9:31 AM Matt-Frozenfire says:

How is April fitting into all of this?

Don't forget about your wife's needs too. :\

She might need you to relax at some point and be with her.

Don't get caught up in business too much or your family will suffer. :(

-Matt


Feb. 7, 2008 | 9:35 AM RageVI says:

Don't you hate it when you're up late at night and your mind is trying to figure out how to approach some programming problem when the rest of you wants to sleep? I've gone through that, but it's probably a lot worse for a project like CC. Do you not take weekends off or something?


Feb. 7, 2008 | 10:00 AM crazy-clown10 says:

each time you say CC, i keep thinking Clown Crew. hope you get over ur problems, like i say, if you dont want to, just dont do it or ur gonna get screwed!
lol


Feb. 7, 2008 | 10:03 AM SuperFlonic says:

Don't deprive yourself from sleep.
Just sleep, things will look a whole lot different when you wake up.


Feb. 7, 2008 | 10:56 AM Scarab says:

Disregarding every other comment, I'm just going to say take it easy! Taking a break might be a bad idea, as you might just be making it all worse, and I think you know this, right? Take it one step at a time and when CC is released, you can have a big, long holiday :)

Loving the strike beard by the way.


Feb. 7, 2008 | 11:14 AM flashplayer5 says:

I have more B/Ps than you! HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEEEEEEEEEEEL????

Indifferent? damn.


Feb. 7, 2008 | 11:26 AM XxCircaPattxX says:

lets start a new NG crew called AntiEmoSociety


Feb. 7, 2008 | 11:49 AM Gein says:

Your gonna be richer so it doesn't matter. APRIL WANTS HER NEW YORKIE DAMNT


Feb. 7, 2008 | 1:06 PM DrDickHead says:

You can only put your happiness aside for so long, You've accomplished so much you should take the time to take in everything. good luck with your endeavors.


Feb. 7, 2008 | 3:27 PM PinballWizard976 says:

Its alright Tom. We all appreciate the hard work you do for this site. And I can't wait for Castle Crashers, so if you want to work on it 24/7, well that's ok. I'm not gonna stop you. But you really should get some sleep.


Feb. 7, 2008 | 3:40 PM spamup99 says:

the only thing that will help tom at the moment is...... CAFFIENE!
lol


Feb. 7, 2008 | 4:18 PM mongoid says:

It will all be worth it when it's over. Start saving up some vacation money for you and the Mrs.

:-)


Feb. 7, 2008 | 4:40 PM Mogly says:

Its just that demon life's got you in its sway.


Feb. 8, 2008 | 12:23 AM Jercurpac says:

I've heard aboutthe way these overworked "lack of sleep" stories end. Just don't go pulling a Heath Ledger on us.


Feb. 8, 2008 | 1:07 AM WolfBlitz2 says:

have you heard of "karoshi"?
i don't know if this is true but it is the japanese word for death by over work
just take care of yourself man


Feb. 8, 2008 | 5:48 AM Afro-Ninja says:

Sometimes you just need to look in the mirror and say, "I'm Tom goddamn Fulp."


Feb. 8, 2008 | 1:21 PM LordODark says:

CC sounds like it's going along great. Don't forget the Madness though...


Feb. 8, 2008 | 4:33 PM Eggys says:

How many PMs on average do you get a day from users?


Feb. 8, 2008 | 4:43 PM souled says:

So who exactly are you making this with, and who's doing the art?


Feb. 8, 2008 | 7:49 PM JoeyNukes says:

Someone need some happy pills?

Cheer up pal.


Feb. 8, 2008 | 8:44 PM 125Maniac says:

wow, castle crashers is gonna be good if you're spending this much time on it!


Feb. 8, 2008 | 9:39 PM TAUfanatic says:

I am so happy that I'm a teen with no pressure..... oh wait, my girl problems, DAMMIT!!


Feb. 9, 2008 | 10:52 AM PicoZX says:

Poor Tom... you should take a break from programming CC.


Feb. 9, 2008 | 12:11 PM steph2568 says:

damn.
maybe you should take a break from CC for a while.
you sound REALLY stressed out!


Feb. 9, 2008 | 1:58 PM Blips says:

You guys should clearly hire a few more people to help with the work load of CC if the development is impacting your daily life this much.


Feb. 9, 2008 | 3:42 PM itsameamario says:

i live philly once but i moved it kinda sucked cuz ilived in a basment....too many cockroaches


Feb. 9, 2008 | 7:25 PM Gobi says:

As the spokeshead and birthmother of newgrounds, would you be able to take time off , for yourself ?


Feb. 9, 2008 | 10:21 PM yoshi77777 says:

Oh no


Feb. 9, 2008 | 11:45 PM appa1234 says:

u r working too hard take a brake 4 the people of newgrounds if not 4 your mental and physical health please


Feb. 10, 2008 | 12:01 AM zerofox911 says:

come on tom im emo :( u make me feel bad man


Feb. 10, 2008 | 1:06 AM Mullet-Man says:

Can't fucking wait to play this. All my Microsoft Points are belong to you.


Feb. 10, 2008 | 2:39 AM SardonicSamurai says:

I can never really say I've ever been in a situation like yours, but damn, you're over working yourself.

For me, I'm either going to college, doing my homework, or working to pay to go to college. Right now, life isn't what I hoped, but there's always light at the end of the tunnel. I hope that once I finish college, I'll continue my education to major in graphic design (after my microcomputer degree), but right now, I just gotta work a lil harder to get it so I can have a higher paying job to pay for my next college.

I don't know you and you don't know me, but I thought I'd say that in a sad attempt to try and cheer you up. You've got our backing. Good luck!


Feb. 10, 2008 | 3:38 AM Iron-Hampster says:

eeeey, relax, have sum fun for a bit, then get back at it when your ready, start not giving a shit for a while then get back to it. you deserve it :)


Feb. 10, 2008 | 4:19 AM 2good2b4goten says:

But just think of all the sex you'll get from it.

"MY GOD IS THAT THE GUY WHO MADE CASTLE CRASHERS?... TAKE ME NOW YOU STALLION"

Then all the ladies will rip their clothes off...

I'm sure it's like that being the owner of Newgrounds alone.


Feb. 10, 2008 | 8:19 AM VeinDigger says:

Bless your cotton socks Mister Tom sir.

I wannt an xb0x :"(


Feb. 10, 2008 | 5:50 PM Aeonstars says:

You're so close.


Feb. 10, 2008 | 7:34 PM Sterance says:

Have heart man, we (or at least i) are all behind you.

P.S. Next time, maybe hire more code monkeys to spread the work load out... COUGH*ME*COUGH


Feb. 11, 2008 | 12:44 PM Murad136 says:

dude, dont worry , i know how you feel, your work will pay off though if you keep working just like you are ok man? keep up ALL the amazing work


Feb. 11, 2008 | 1:30 PM K111 says:

don't push yourself dude, castle crashers can wait a little while, your health is whats important


Feb. 11, 2008 | 4:44 PM JujubeLock says:

After you finish this game, you should retire and live off your NG money and game royalties for the sake of your health. sanity, and interpersonal relationships. ;)


Feb. 11, 2008 | 5:53 PM itsameamario says:

hey tom when is the chat room gonna be up?


Feb. 11, 2008 | 8:16 PM SuperJerkZ says:

i just wonder how one day..it just hit you..i wanna kno how this all came to ur mind..if u can plz rely..howd u come up with pico nd alien hominid?


Feb. 11, 2008 | 9:55 PM mcom234 says:

heres a stupid quetion what is cc


Feb. 12, 2008 | 1:16 AM The-Know says:

Hey Tom do you think with all your long work days that Castle Crashers will come out sooner? Oh yeah i just got my Blue Knight figurine in the mail. I love the little guy. It's probably the best collectable i have(even though its like the only one i have.)


Feb. 12, 2008 | 11:13 AM nazmdeh says:

I Hope The Project Goes Well. The Hard Work Will Pay Off.


Feb. 12, 2008 | 4:44 PM JonBro says:

I hope you get some sleep sometime soon, Tom. I think sleeping could even help give you some more great ideas for Castle Crashers.

It seems like programming for a console game would be really difficult, especially more than one. You're amazing, Tom!


Feb. 12, 2008 | 5:22 PM ERGVOT says:

this is a spam message. roflmao.


Feb. 12, 2008 | 7:48 PM Kenshin1913 says:

Hey Tom
I know this is a little off topic but how can I get a cool image like yours for my avatar?

Pete


Feb. 12, 2008 | 8:58 PM revilnemesis says:

Yo Tom can you explain some things in Pico's school like what was a gun doing in the jainitor's office, what was a pile of poop doing in the jainitor's office, whose locker was the one with the wed in it, and how come when you kill the ninja kid his head falls off??????????????????????????????????
??????????????????????


Feb. 14, 2008 | 9:40 AM EsMatiCSounDs says:

Maybe a sledgehammer will help u get some sleep or a long nice coma :D


Feb. 14, 2008 | 8:23 PM kylewins says:

dud play some call of duty ;halo,and some other games settle down for a while
and play some games it helps dont think about sleeping when triing to sleep.


Feb. 14, 2008 | 9:03 PM Grammer says:

Cheer up, no matter what you're still fucking loaded :o

...Hey, will you be getting Super Smash Bros Brawl when it comes out?


Mar. 17, 2008 | 12:10 AM Chefteen says:

I almost stopped by the newgrounds booth at comic-con but I was trapped in the crowd at the Maximum PC booth and didn't want to have one of those weird moments.


Mar. 25, 2008 | 11:44 AM TiKRuy says:

Keep up the good work! I really have my hopes for this one and i'll definately buy it to my x360 when it comes out.


Apr. 10, 2008 | 8:43 PM ArtemisTheHunter says:

I thought there was another coder working on this with you? What the fuck has he been doing?


Apr. 19, 2008 | 11:55 AM oreosz360 says:

that's deep

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