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Hi there! In case you didn't know, I created newgrounds. No, it wasn't made by some giant company - just some dumb kid. I also co-founded the Behemoth; we made Alien Hominid and Castle Crashers. Yoink! Banner by FuShark.

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More emo BS

Posted by TomFulp - February 6th, 2008


The more time I spend working on CC, the less I can sleep. It started with changing my regular work day from 8 to 8 into 8 to 12... But after working all day Sunday, I came home and caught up on PMs, then felt guilty about going to bed with so much work left to do, so I went back to the office and worked straight through until Monday night. Today was 7am to 1:30am. It's always the same, I finally come home, lay in bed... Try to clear my head... Feel like I'm about to fall asleep, but then I don't. And then I can't. So I get back up and either go back to the office or sit here on my laptop trying to put some thoughts down for the next day.

And working on CC itself is kinda like trying to fall asleep. You have that moment where you think you're almost there, but then your mind starts racing with ideas and thoughts and you just can't stop it, and suddenly you're nowhere near being there. But it has to be like that because that's what will make it great. They call it scope creep, but we really do have the scope pretty well under control right now, we just gotta follow through with everything so we don't regret leaving anything out.

Making the console version of Alien Hominid felt like one of those "only do this once" projects. Not that the opportunity only comes once, but that for my own mental health, I should only do it once. But here I am. After 15 months of development on AH, we told ourselves our next game would be something more simple, but it just doesn't happen like that... The next game always has to be bigger and better than the last, or else your moving backwards. And CC will certainly be big, and much better.

As the development of Castle Crashers has stretched out over a few years, I've felt a growing sense of self-loathing. After Comic-Con I finally just accepted that I will derive little joy from life until this game is finished. And that's just the reality of how it's gonna be and that's why even right now I should be programming instead of writing this. On that note...


Comments (93)

It's a shame I don't have an X-Box 360 to play CC when it comes out.
Have you thought of getting a few more people in with you, working on the game, that way you can take a break and disperse the work load better.

oh shiot wats cc?

Your pain benefits the masses, Mr. Fulp. Your self-torture is not in vain.

I say avoid caffiene all together
go get a mountain bike and go on a bash about in the woods (I heard that places in canada are pretty good to ride)
take a WEEK away from the pc
try doing some drawing with pencil and paper while sitting in a national park or somewhere just in some wilderness may it be heavily forested that no light on the ground floor or a fair few trees a bit like Georges river
try making a home brew
go and live in the gold coast
and finally RELAX!

sounds like someone needs a vacation... then again, i bet during that whole vacation, youll be thinking about work...

Can't wait for CC, Tom.

To get to sleep, try my trick.
When your mind is racing, just think of black. Just a plain black sheet.

Nice work on AH, thanks for replying to the PM, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Nice work on the site...

edn.

take a break for a week or two

Must be some serious shit if you're working on it that hard.

kill the emos just joking there are people too well dump people l can say

It'll all be worth it Tom. And just to let you know, I will definitely by this when it comes out ;)

Hope you can sleep soon ;)

I meant buy, woops XD

You should update your profile pics (etc.) with a beard...

And guys... EMO CAN NEVER BE COOL, TOM HIMSELF JUST STATED EMO THINGS AS BS!!!!!!! (BS = BullShit, right?)

I know how you feel, but obviously not to the same degree.

The stupid thing is, after completing a project and telling myself "ahh, time for a nice break", I'm back inspired and coding within a day or two :/

Anyway, good luck with it all. Not being able to sleep sucks.

Tom, you have done so much in your life to be proud of, including what you've done so far on castle crashers. Just because it's not done doesn't mean it's something you can't be proud of.
You're awesome.
Take that knowledge and get some sleep.
Also, Mike doesn't need to sleep because he is more machine than man, so you don't have to worry.

am going with writersblock ... i have no xbx 360 to play cc *shame*
you could try some spiritual stuff to get sleep or clear your head ^^
or try to get a standerd schedule for your work and break periods in the week ...

Don't neglect your new bride!

Youve gone through helluva lot of obstacles before Tom. And im sure you can do it this time too :) Hang in there. Dont look down, just keep your head and youll be finished. Look behind you and see what youve left for us. Thats right, big smiles on our faces.

Listen, go buy the Scarface soundtrack album. Put it on, and feel the energy rush inside of you. Then keep bangin like you got coke rush. You just gotta keep your hands on the steering wheel. Then slow down and gather your fuel. Then on the road again. Im sorry if i cant help you, but not personally knowing your situation, this is what i can come up with. What i can say is, that possibilities never end with us humans. We thought we would never fly up the sky. We thought that we would never reach the moon. So dont you ever think that you will never finish CC. Its still there, you gotta keep the destination, its like driving from Cali to Kansas. Keep refueling, we're still cheering.

I get this too tom... I can't sleep but its usualy to do with school, work, or some project I'm working on...

it sucks... But Wade still makes cooler posts then you

Tom, its a shame you seem to be doing a lot of programming by yourself. Too bad you can't get a larger team and whatnot, though I know you all may not be able to pay more people to help, but in the long run, it may help. Because you seriously seem to be stressing yourself out, and thats not good.

I'm not trying to crack jokes here, but think of Heath Ledger, he got so involved in his role as the Joker, he eventually couldn't sleep, etc, and look what seemed to happen in the long run.

And I know the feeling of wanting to get something done, you dont want to take any breaks from it, especially it being a game and all, but if it were possible, I'd take a break or something, though I'm sure it would probably still bug you, wanting to get it done.

Hopefully, things will get better.

You're a hard working man. I am quite sure that will result in an awesome game - guess you've earned a long and good vacation after it's done. :)

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